Rest – The Final Frontier

(Time to read: ~ 5 minutes)

I find that many people I encounter have difficulty in taking time “off”. There seems to be such value placed on “doing” and accomplishing and being “busy”.

I myself find it very difficult to stop and “not do” during the day. There are always so many things that I want to do – either

• because of their intrinsic pleasure (like writing or creating things on the computer), or
• because they will make my life easier or more pleasant in the future (like doing dishes, tidying my desk, or maintaining my accounts), or
• because they honour agreements I have made with others or myself (like checking and responding to email).

So while my body may have been interested in rest, my mind has been unwilling to go along for the ride. Only if I was able to convince myself to take a nap was I able to rest during the day. (This was also my parents’ pattern, which has likely been an influence on me).

At the same time, I have recognized that work tasks take more time and energy, and are generally less satisfactorily done (at least to me), when I am continuously working during my waking hours.

So I’ve tried various experiments to help create the “Breathing In, and Breathing Out” balance that our bodies help us maintain. (For me, breathing out is working and breathing in is resting.)

The Sunday Experiment

For a while I tried telling myself that I would follow the Christian practice I had heard about as a child, and declare Sunday as a day of rest.

And I simply didn’t follow through on that. Partly, I was always anxious to feel well-prepared for Monday meetings and other tasks.

And partly, it was simply not appealing to choose to “do nothing” when there were so many interesting “somethings” calling for my time and attention. The logical, left-brain part of me just couldn’t get on board with that.

The “What do you want more of?” Question

Then I decided to ask myself what kinds of activities that I enjoy didn’t seem to get on my calendar. That was a fun question!

The answers that came back were:

1. Time for reflection – what was working and not working so well in my life? And if not working so well, what could do I to help address that?
   .
2. Time to enjoy beautiful spaces – whether walking in a park or sitting in a beautiful space, I just never seemed to make enough time for this. One place that repeatedly called to me was the Eaton Centre, a large mall downtown with a high arched glass ceiling that let in natural light, even throughout the winter.
   .
3. Sleep. I was aware that I tended to feel more and more tired over time, until I either got sick or went on a vacation that allowed lots of time for sleep. And that I was definitely not getting as much sleep as is generally recommended (so my tiredness was probably not caused by getting too much sleep).

When I thought about when I might make time for these activities, I was aware that most clients book sessions Monday through Thursday, and I had never offered a Friday training.

So Friday seemed like a good day to try as a day off, especially because, if I needed or wanted to work on a creative project (which is generally easiest to do on weekends), I would still have two full days to do that.

The Friday Intention

And so, in October 2008, I had my first scheduled day off. Things were somewhat inconsistent at first. But by the beginning of 2009, I was pretty consistently following my Friday “Day Off” plan.

The first week was easy. I took my journal to the Eaton Centre, sat on a bench where I could look up at the ceiling and the sky, and wrote out my reflections. I had a lunch-out treat, then went home for an afternoon nap.

It was perfect!

But then I ran into a snag. Where should I go next week? Somehow I had the idea that I would go to a different beautiful place each time, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else I wanted to go.

I was happy when I realized that, if people go to the same church each week, I could also go to the same place as often as I wanted for my weekly outing.

This process continued pretty religiously for over 2 years.

Change Happens

It was because of this tradition that I discovered Apple computers, and so began my conversion to being an Apple fan. The bench on which I sat was right outside the Apple store, where I saw the sign “Make the ultimate upgrade. To a Mac.”

After this, my Friday mornings generally began with an Apple lesson, followed by my journal writing. I love the feeling of friendly, energetic life that is such a part of the Apple retail experience.

But then my primary technology need began to focus around things that weren’t taught at the Apple store – like WordPress. So the draw began to be to stay home and work on learning WordPress.

It was then that I realized that my Apple lessons, delightful though they had been, had shifted the focus of my days off from reflection and rest, to learning. Which is another aspect of my life that is very important to me and which was not receiving the amount of space I would have liked.

So, my next challenge is how – at this point in my life – to meet both the need for learning, and the needs for reflection and rest?

What’s Your Balance Challenge?

Does your life have the quality of spacious balance that you want?

If not, what do you want more of?

What would be the smallest, simplest experiment you could try to see if it would improve things for you?

*  *  *  *  *

Would you like some support in identifying and making a balance “shift” in your life?

I have been told I offer a spacious quality of presence for you to explore your challenge fully. I know that we change things most easily and effectively when we recognize all the different values and perspectives we hold – and find ways to satisfy them all.

To book a free, “check-it-out and see if I seem like the right person to support you” session, click here

If you are ready to jump in and get started, click here to book a coaching / working session